i just want to write something like to access our cutting edge community portal, visit the Thornsmouth Gardening yes yes yes Society online does that make sense yes but you actually have to open what does this microphone
Maybe some of you are having trouble understanding, so I’m taking a moment to make it clear. We do not currently have a legitimate copy of the Founder’s Map. While several have come forward with versions that they have claimed to be the original, they have all thus far proven to be forgeries, or sometimes even worse. What we DO have, is a very good primary source which DESCRIBES the contents of the map, which is what our special presentation, “Our Historical Founders and the Mysterious Missing Map” is all about! WHY WON’T ANYONE BUY TICKETS???
This post was supposed to be about the renovations to the new retail park…
BONUS FACT: On the Founder’s Map, this retail park was supposedly labeled “shguuth” or “woman” because it was meant to be a public washing place, but today, whether you require legal representation, chicken and chips take-away, or even DVD film rentals, you may thank the Thornsmouth Gardening Society for subsidizing our local shopping parade, now with two more spaces in the car park!
For those of you exploring our new outdoor family entertainment areas, please watch your step in the Rooty Pits! Our favorite wide open local flower field is filled with plenty of gorgeous local greenery, but can be a walking hazard without proper footwear. Bring a walking stick if possible, and if you need help, just follow the instructions for this area, as described on our list of things included on the Founder’s Map, and jump twice in place!
As a lifelong village resident, it has been my special pleasure to write these little pieces on famous places in town. It brings a warm feeling to my heart, thinking back to those glory days of Thatcher and avocado toilets and Vienetta, but most of all, I think of community.
Blackthorn Fountain Park has always been where the village has come together to meet and commune with each other in rewarding ways. This is why, experts believe, our town founders probably labelled it on the Founder’s Map with the old word “nnnfh’up” or “circle”. Public restrooms available.
I’m not sure I believe in ghosts, but I’m meant to come up with something scary to discuss here on the internet for our younger members. I’m not sure we’ll have too many facts left for the actual presentation at this rate, but here’s another bit of supplemental text from “Our Historical Founders and the Mysterious Missing Map!” I’m not supposed to mention it anymore, but ticket sales have been lax, and I’ve worked rather hard on it, so please consider attending one of the far too many scheduled performances! BONUS FACT: In the Seven Acre Wood, the people of Thornsmouth have always claimed to see and hear strange and unexpected sounds from worlds beyond our own. In keeping with local tradition, visitors to the Seven Acre Wood are known to stand and welcome these unseen forces by snapping both of their fingers in unison, seven times in a row, just as we’re told it says to on the Founder’s Map! But, be careful not to get lost in your own imagination, still plenty of gardening to do!
“Thornsmouth is OURS” right now this time i will try not to oh shoot its already
In the nineties, Thornsmouth Centre was built to invigorate job growth and commerce in a relatively rural area. Thankfully, since the lockdown, The Gardening Society has replaced all abandoned non-local businesses with seamless member-staffed imitations, and it is genuinely hard to tell the difference! Or, if seeing is your only road to believing, go for a visit yourself! BONUS FACT: It supposedly says to make a circle with your hands here on the Founder’s Map, and we think that means coming full circle to you. It certainly does to US.
This is not a post I take pleasure in posting. Don’t accept Thornsmouth community news from lesser or unverified sources, simply click the link to register, and say hello to our online portal, which we’re planning on upgrading very soon!
One of the best things about pre-lockdown life was going out to the pub to see our friends and family around town, wouldn’t you agree? So it’s our great pleasure to announce that yes, thanks to the Gardening Society, it’s just another part of life you now have back. Parched? Famished? Love to throw darts? The Thorn and Mouth is the finest (and OLDEST!) pub in town, and apparently, BONUS FACT, it’s even meant to appear on the Founder’s Map, labeled with the word “ehye” because it brings the people of the village “together”. Go on then! Go buy someone their next round!
Let’s be honest, not everything survived the lockdown, and some of it, we don’t even have readily available photographs of, making it harder and harder, as time marches on, to prove that they ever existed at all. The old Thornsmouth Grocery location, which sadly did not survive the lockdown, is one of these lost local treasures and has also THANKFULLY been resurrected as Gardener’s Grocery, which offers all essential goods, local meat at the lowest possible prices, and 100% member-grown produce. BONUS FACT: And rest easy, if your neck begins to hurt, simply take a cue from the Founder’s Map of the area and roll your head around on your neck in a slow wide circle twice in about 35 seconds. We call it the “shoppy stretch”!
NetscapeIE 4.0